Letters from a girl who never knew her real mother passed on during her birth and the parents she is living with are not biological. She only found out at the age of 23 and started she writing to her dead mother.
Hey mom, I have something to tell you, there's so much emptiness
in my heart ever since I found out about you, all I feel is this hallow space growing bigger every day. I mean how could I live my whole life a lie? was it you who asked that they keep such a thing from me for so long? mommy look at me, is this the kind of person you wanted out of me? I hate everyone for keeping such a thing from me, I feel so lost and confused, even I do not know who I am, just like everyone I am still yet to find out.Years ago if somebody told me it was possible to live for over 20 years without knowing yourself I would have laughed at them thinking they are speaking rubbish. As i write this, i figure you must have been the strict type and you would have most probably slapped me for saying all this things right? well guess what, i would give anything in this world to feel your slap on my cheeks, at-least that is better than not knowing you at all. I long to see you all the time and reality suddenly hits me that you are nowhere to be found, that kills me all the time and gets me all teary eyed. I cry miserably all the time when I think about you and how i never even got to see you face, hold your hand, hear your voice or even to be kept in your loving embrace. I wonder what you would have been like, I imagine you my best friend, beautiful, kind, loving and warm hearted, I keep seeing your aura in my thoughts, its warm and full of love, you were a happy soul, so full of love and there was deep rooted issues that brought you so much sorrow and pain, I wish I would have been there to see you through them. Anyway I love you and I still long for you. Mommy there's this amazing guy, I love him so so much, he is so good to me, we fight a lot over anything and everything, but mostly because we can not be together all the time. Mom can you believe he is the only person in the whole wide world whose aura I can't read? Like that really frustrates me because now I can't always make him feel super special or know the tickling points of his heart. He means everything to me, he is my whole world and he has really helped me deal wit the fact that dad rejected me and you are no more, wen I'm around him, he makes me forget all my pains, he is the only one who manages to make me smile in the midst of pain. I want to get married to him because I feel he is the one. I wish you had gotten to meet him, I know you would have liked him a lot as everybody else does. I at times feel your presence and embrace when I'm really beat up and alone. I love u mama, watch over me as I will be making you proud.I will be a success come what may!
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