When a lump builds on your throat

When a lump builds on your throat

When a lump of pain forms on your throat you feel as though you can't breath, its all suffocated in your neck, there's a trace of pain finding its way up from your chest towards your throat, everything gathers there and results in a heartache, the only way to erase it is letting go of holding your tears in and let it all out, sobs and shouts usually do it quicker but then its not

easy because some people just can't release and break down and cry. I do not know whether to call it pride or persistence to be strong, I am one of those people who refuse to cry when I am in pain. I tell myself I will be strong and I will never break down and cry no matter how much it hurts. Very much aware of the depth of the badly bruising of my insides I begin to realize the damage will be un-repairable. when I eventually deal with the ghosts I created or allowed to grow within me it hits me that I let the bruise grow and spread inside of me like cancer, it hurts so bad but I still refuse to break down, a headache arises, pounding the sides of my head, I just cant seem to relax and be fine because there's a lot of pain within me

fighting to come out. I gulp and swallow hard with the hope that as I swallow the pain goes back down inside, till one day when pain gathers its strength and pushes out of me forcefully. I gasp for a fresh breath of air hoping it does the trick,breathing has gotten difficult as I persist in shutting the pain in, it gains momentum and pushes right out then I sob so badly, gasping in a lot of air at once, The pride washes away as the tears roll down my cheeks, slowly I start to feel my throat

open up. All of a sudden I can breath and the pain that was congesting my chest is fading, I feel okay and I start to smile like a kid who has just been given candy. I feel a new form of internal peace, I hope it lasts.